Thursday, April 11, 2013

Things Look Small

The Rock is tall and has giant muscles: He is superhumanly big. Whereas the star power of diminutive stars like Prince or Tom Cruise elevates them to look of average size, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson uses his to seem like a goddamn giant. He is so huge that normal objects don't look normal in his presence: An iPhone looks like a black pebble with white thread attached; water bottles look like sippy cups; kids look like the kin of a different, smaller species. Scroll on to see him dwarf everything on the planet.
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and John Cena come face to face at Wrestlemania XXVIII press conference at the Eden Rock Hotel in South Beach.

Seconds after placing his hands down, the podium crumbled into dust.

The Rock, Dwayne Johnson, shows off his baseball swing filming scenes for the movie "Pain and Gain" with Mark Wahlberg in Miami.

This is the Rock’s toothpick. Or, as it's known by puny humans, a baseball bat.

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson arrives at Fort Lauderdale International Airport.  He was picked up at the airport by his mother, Ata Maivia.

The Rock always has to hold his iPhone because it would get lost if put into his swimming-pool-size pocket.

Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson stars in the Got Milk? campaign's first ever Super Bowl ad. The 30-second commercial, which was directed by Peter Berg, will air in the second quarter of the game on February 3, 2013.

Peter Berg: “Hey, Dwayne, you know you can put that gallon of milk down.”
The Rock: “Oh, wow, I didn’t even realize. It literally feels like I’m holding nothing.”

The Rock arrives in London and dines at Nobu ahead of his premiere.

No velvet rope can hold the Rock. They barely come up to his knees — which, by the way, are hard enough to cut granite, so it's not like a higher rope could stop him anyway.

Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson at the Fisher-Price Planet Heroes (TM) toy launch at the Miami Science Museum. The actor appeared very cozy with soon-to-be ex-wife, Dany Garcia Johnson. The couple appeared at the event to accept a donation to The Rock Foundation from the embattled toy titan. Blasted by withering criticism, venerable Fisher-Price had to recall roughly one million Chinese-made toys contaminated with lead paint.

“When I was a little kid, I played with trains. I’d bench-press them 4,000 times a day. Just to be clear, they were real trains.”

Actor/wrestler Dwayne Johnson films a scene for 'Pain and Gain' in Miami, Florida. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson BBQ's a severed hand on the set.

“Booooo, this little baby grill can’t fit the whole elk I usually eat as an amuse bouche.”

Dwayne Johnson (The Rock) arrives in a Humvee for the red carpet premiere of 'GI Joe: Retaliation,' which is an upcoming 2013 American science fiction action film directed by Jon M. Chu. The premiere was held at the Cinemas on George Street in Sydney, Australia.

A moment later, the Rock swallowed that phone in one bite.
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson on the film set of 'Pain and Gain' in Miami.
Fun fact: The Rock has to have people open bottle caps for him, because when he does it, he spins the caps so fast they fly into space. That’s why the moon has so many craters.
LAS VEGAS, NV - APRIL 23:  Actor Dwayne Johnson, recipient of the Action Star of the Decade Award, arrives at a Paramount Pictures and DreamWorks Animation event at Caesars Palace during the opening night of CinemaCon, the official convention of the National Association of Theatre Owners on April 23, 2012 in Las Vegas, Nevada.  (Photo by Steven Lawton/FilmMagic)
Before he grabbed this statue, it wasn’t curved.
'Racing Dreams' movie premiere in NYC. The event was part of the Eighth Annual Tribeca Film Festival.
“I should warn you, your microphones are about to disintegrate from the force of my vocal vibrations.”

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